Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize