My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
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If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
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i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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