it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize