there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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