Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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