I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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