I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize