I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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