Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize