I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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