i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize