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.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
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