i'm lost and i look like a hooker
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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