I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize