Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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