I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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