Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize