When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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