The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
you had me at cake vodka
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize