Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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