Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He called his prostate his "boner button".
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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