i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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