I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
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I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
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nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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