I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize