i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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