do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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