I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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