I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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