why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
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She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
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I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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