Fuck appropriateness.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
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no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
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we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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