she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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