Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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