Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize