nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize