also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize