i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
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She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
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He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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