My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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