Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize