We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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