That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize