I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
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Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
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Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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