It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
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We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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