I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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