chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
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well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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