Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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