I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize