i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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