I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
MIDGETS
????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize