the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize