bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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